unromantic

Nagi woke to the sound of shots.

Constructing a barrier around himself, he ran down the hallway to the living room. Contrary to his expectations however, he didn't find Crawford standing over Schuldig's bleeding corpse. Instead Schuldig was slouched in front of a shattered television, gun cast carelessly onto the sofa cushion beside him.

"You shot the TV?!?"

Wanton destruction of technology ranked as a minor blasphemy with Nagi.

"It's about time you got out of bed," Schuldig turned his head and glowered at Nagi, "You may be off duty but that's no excuse to sleep in this late."

Nagi was speechless. Since when did Schuldig care about what time he slept or rose?

"Go get dressed," Schuldig stood up and stretched, "We're going out."

"On a job? Crawford never said anything."

And he obviously wasn't at home. Nagi doubted Crawford would have allowed the telepath to let off firearms in the apartment, no matter how soundproof it was.

"Where are we going?"

"Just out." Schuldig scooped up the gun and brushed past Nagi, heading for his bedroom.

"Arsehole," muttered Nagi, before returning to his own.

"Crawford did not order this." Nagi said. He pressed his lips together firmly, a thin line of disapproval.

"It must have slipped his mind," Schuldig explained airily, "He's always telling me to improve your social skills. Consider this an object lesson as to what people really think on days like this."

"Well, I doubt they'd ever actually say that." Nagi screwed his face up in distaste as he remembered the thoughts Schuldig had relayed to him from the last woman.

"Don't you know truth is the most important thing in building a relationship?"

Nagi gave a snort of laughter.

"Just think of me as the instant Ramen version of Cupid," Schuldig smiled beatifically.

Then he turned back to concentrating on the flowershop's inhabitants, ignoring Nagi's muttered comment of,

"Yes - cheap, tasteless and with artificial colouring."

"Ken, are you sure that's what she said she wanted on the card?"

Willing the blush to die down, Ken nodded reluctantly at Yohji.

"Wow, women get more hentai every day. And they sure seem to be coming out of the woodwork this year!"

Yohji shook his head, and in his best script wrote out the sexually obscene message to Mr Kisagu from his previously demure prospective-girlfriend. He couldn't believe some of the perverted cards he'd sent so far this morning. And if today was any indication, well. . .

Crawford was at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper when they got home.

"Did you have a good day?" his tone had that dry curl to it which meant he was indulging his teammates' foibles.

Actually, Nagi thought, he had had a good day.

The telepath had been on top form in the "totally screwing over people's lives in an amusing way" department. Nagi was also pretty sure the Koneko was going to have a big slump in customers once word of today's debacle got out. And Schuldig had bought him ice-cream. Double-cream chocolate ice-cream, which he wasn't supposed to eat because of his lactose intolerence. So he was feeling tired, sleepy and slightly nauseous, but yes, he'd had a good day.

"Hnh," he commented and yawned.

"Bed, Nagi." Crawford ordered without even bothering to look up.

Schuldig tousled his hair as he left but Nagi was too weary to bother retaliating.

"And did you have a good day?" Schuldig asked, dropping onto the kitchen chair opposite Crawford, "I thought today was my turn on babysitting duty."

This time Crawford did look up.

"Let's just say it wasn't as entertaining as yours," he replied, "Masafumi and his bimbos showed up and spent most of the afternoon being cloyingly sweet and crawling all over each other."

Schuldig shuddered at the mental snapshot Crawford sent him.

"Scheisse, but I hate Valentine's Day. All those sickly cotton-candy thoughts make want to throw up. Or kill someone."

"Well, look on the bright side," said Crawford, "Valentine's Day only happens once a year."

"Danke Gott."

"Although, this is Japan. . ." Crawford continued with poorly-hidden amusement, "Next month you have White Day."

"Argh!"

NOTES:
Valentine's Day:
In Japan, women give chocolates, flowers, small gifts to men on Valentine's Day. It is only the women giving presents to men, but not the other way around.
White Day:
The opposite of Valentine's Day: Men give cakes or chocolates etc to women.

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