postcards from hell

Get me the f##k outta here!

The food sux, the weather sux, the service is lousy and the interior decoratin' makes your digs look like the Temple a Sunshine and Happiness.

Your devoted nephew 

Strife

To: Ares, GOW

Temple of Ares, God of War

(yeah, the Big Black Building, ya moron)

Sparta

Whaddya mean "Typical!"???

Like I got up that morning and said "Oh, looks like a peachy day ta die."? 
NOT! 

Your loving son,
Strife 

To: Eris, Goddess of Discord

Temple of Discord

15 B Laurel Drive

Corinth

(screw this one up an Mom is so gonna have yer ass)

How's it hangin? Hope you and Bliss is well. 

I'm good, keepin myself busy. Great Unc gets me to do stuff with the guys in Tartarus mainly, though it ain't so much fun as they keep comin back. Repetition bores me. 

Actually this whole gig sux. I'm bored. 
Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored. 
An a bored Strife is not a good thing, right? 

I miss you.

Strife

To:  Cupid, GOL

Temple of Cupid, God of Love

(Big. White. Pink Drapes. Nude statues. Frescoes a various people an animals writhing in impossible - well impossible for a mortal anyway - positions. Ya gettin the picture?)

Thebes

Gabby,

The weather's really hot.

Wish you were here.

Strife

To: Gabby

AKA annoyin blonde bimbo

Gabrielle's Parents House

Some little hick town called Poteideia

(I dunno, somewhere near Athens?)

Hi Jox, 
I got ta see Unc for a bit, an he said ya was real upset about what went down wit me n that blonde psycho bitch from heck. Don't worry, cos things is lookin up. It ain't so bad around here. I got the run a the whole place, and I gotta tell ya, Tartarus can be real entertaining. The Elysian Fields are like serious Dullsville, but I livened it up fer a while. Great Unc's banned me from there now however. Some people can't take a joke, even when they're dead. Death does not improve the sense of humor! Oops, runnin outta space, write you later, bye,
Strife

To:  Joxer 

c/o Ares, GOW

Temple of Ares, God of War

(yeah, the Big Black Building AGAIN. Sheesh!)

Sparta

Grandma said I should write a letter ta thank ya for your hospitality durin my vacation. 
So, thanks for the bunk at Club Dead, but you'll forgive me if I try not ta repeat the experience.

Regards,
Strife, God of Mischief
House of War, Olympus

P.S. Tell Charon he can find his loot in the cavern three down from the Mall of Mauve Hotpants 'n other Torments for Dead Fashion Victims, or whateva the official name is. Behind the big grey rock (I think).

P.P.S. Oh an that phobia Cerebus's developed about safety pins? That's got nothin ta do wid me. 

To:  Hades, King of the Dead

The Underworld

(whaddaya mean, ya don't deliver there? ya do now - one way or another, geddit?)